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Five Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive in a Long-Distance Relationship

By: Lindsay Curtis

If romance novels and chick-flicks are to be believed, the long-distance relationship is to be dreaded, and time apart shunned as an enemy of love.

But in reality, the experts—and those who’ve been there— say long-distance relationships can actually lead to a stronger bond. Even, perhaps, a better sex life.

“I really like the tension of being apart and coming together,” says Tami Rose, a Canadian writer in a long-distance relationship. “It keeps things fresh and it makes me appreciate the time that I do get face-to-face with my partner.”

Keeping the desire between you and your lover as you count down to your next reunion takes some work, but putting in the effort now will help make the sex even more intense and mind-blowing than you remembered. Here are some ways to keep your sex life thriving and healthy, even when there are many miles between you and your lover.

Five Best Ways to Spice up your Sex Life in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship sexting
1. Sexting

Who doesn’t love getting a saucy text from their lover? Whether you’re bored at work or lying in bed longing for some action, sexting is one of the most accessible ways you can maintain intimacy. “Since there is no physical touch with your partner in a long-distance relationship, you must learn to tease and please them with your words and visuals,” says Danny Garrett, a sex and relationship expert at The Enhanced Male.

These days you can get quite creative with your sexting—including sending a video of your orgasm in an artform by using the Lioness Smart Vibrator. Whether you’re engaging in a back-and-forth volley of sexy messages or sending a one-off enticing picture, sexts are a great tool for anyone in an LDR looking to keep the physical connection going, even when you can’t touch.

Writing erotica together in a long-distance relationship
2. Write erotica together

If you have fantasies you’d like to share with your lover or a vivid imagination full to bursting with sexy scenarios, consider creating an erotica story just for your partner. Better yet — write it together. “My partner and I take turns writing chapters of an ongoing erotica story. It helps us share our desires, and gives us inspiration for what we can do together when we’re reunited. Plus, it’s great masturbation material,” says Lianne M., who has been in a long-distance relationship with her partner for two years.

Not a writer? No problem. Take turns reading erotica you find online to each other on the phone or while you’re on Skype. If you’re more turned on by visual stimulation, watch the same porn flick in unison.

If you need some suggestions on where to start, we have suggestions for erotica here, and pornography here

Woman relaxing in bed
3. Masturbation

Let’s face it: you and your hand (and vibrator!) are going to spend a lot of time getting intimate while you and your partner live apart. Engaging in solo play will help fulfill all of your sexual needs when your partner can’t.

If you and your partner are both comfortable, consider having some fun with a mutual masturbation session. “Watching a partner masturbate is pleasurable as well as visually and audibly stimulating,” says Carmel Jones, founder of The Big Fling. “More than that, it allows you to relish in your partner’s pleasure, making it emotionally intimate.” Bring a sense of humor to your first time — it’ll help dissolve the tension that may come with masturbating together with miles between you.

4. Share your desires

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’re often in countdown mode to the next reunion and sometimes, the days that stretch between visits can often feel agonizingly long. Staying connected and voicing your desires and dreams is a great way to bridge the gap and help you feel closer. “Sharing one new thing you'd like to try in between every period of time you have to be apart can be a fun way to fuel desire and give you something to look forward to next time you're able to have sex together,” says relationship and sexual empowerment coach Christie Federico.

Make a mutual “bucket list” where you share what positions, techniques and sex play you want to engage in the next time you’re together. This will give you something to look forward to when the distance leaves you longing for more.

Woman with a laptop - keeping your sex-life alive in a long-distance relationship
5. Use sex toys in tandem

There are a number of sex toys you can use with your partner — even when you’re not in the same room. “Remote control vibrators are a fantastic addition to any long distance couple's sex life. They not only help keep your desire alive but also provide a sense of connection. They're the closest you can get to giving your partner pleasure while apart,” advises Federico.

There’s a wide variety of Bluetooth sex toys that help give long-distance couples participate in each other’s pleasure. Some vibrators allow you to use an app that lets you and your partner video chat while using the toy. Others give you and your partner control over the speed and vibrations of the toy, helping you feel closer to one another while using it.

Between visits in a long-distance relationship? Why not send them your orgasms using the Lioness Smart Vibrator?


Lioness Smart VibratorTake some time to get better acquainted with yourself with the Lioness smart vibrator—then share what you learn with your partner.

Not only does Lioness amp up the pleasure, but precision sensors let you see arousal and orgasms so you can learn exactly what works for you and/or your partner.

Click here to learn more.

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