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Solutions for a boring relationship — advice from a therapist

From the Desk of a Sexual Medicine Gynecologist and AASECT-certified Therapist.Guest Post from Michael Krychman, MD, and Director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine

boring dead bedroom

I'm sexually bored! Sex has become boring! What can I do to liven up a sex life?

Sexual boredom is not an uncommon complaint for many couples. Sex can become dry predictable, routine like and feel like the excitement has drained from the sexual experience.

The hum drum lack luster sexual experience can create unnecessary stress on a relationship and breaking up the sexual routine is important for many couples who feel a need to revive their dull and monotonous sex lives. Sexual predictability breeds boredom so adding a little novelty can revive a sexual dry spell. Novelty enhances sexual biological hormones and helps the sexual juices flow.

Switch It Up


Sometimes it is as simple as changing the time of the day you make love – night owls can consider trying early bird sex when hormones are rising. Sexual exploration with your partner can spice up a dreary sex life. Sexual exploration: there are many erogenous zones and stimulation of these new areas can also be pleasure.


Try a new sexual position, read the “Joy of Sex” together or use sexual props in the bedroom can help bring back some sexual thrills and pleasure. Self-stimulators (like the Lioness!) can enhance the sexual experience and heighten the response by self-awareness.


Try incorporating a new sexual accessories or enhancers into your sexual play and it may help put some pizzazz back in your bedroom. Talk about fantasies and act out a sexual fantasy with your spouse or partner.

Most Importantly... Don't Give Up

There is no reason to settle for an average sex life. Sex can be dynamic, exciting and thrilling. Don’t accept sexual boredom, embrace sexual novelty and reignite the passion and pleasure in your relationship.


About Dr. Krychman

As a doctor of sexual medicine, a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist, and a clinical sexual counselor and author, Dr. Krychman has devoted his career to helping patients and their partners overcome sexual health challenges and experience a higher quality of physical intimacy. Dr. Krychman is also a specialist in survivorship medicine and provides life coaching and care plans to optimize the health and wellness of patients with chronic diseases or cancer.

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