I am a survivor of rape. After it happened, I felt like something precious had been stolen from me.
I isolated myself from my friends and loved ones. I struggled with low self-esteem and found myself trapped in an abusive relationship. Worst of all, I felt like I couldn’t trust my body anymore.
My body froze completely underneath my assailant, and I couldn’t forgive myself for staying quiet.
Being sexually assaulted changed my life, but I can’t let that define who I am. I learned that there’s no correct way to respond to something so horrible and that I should thank my body for surviving.
Masturbation—and sex—are as much an art as they are a science. There are biological and psychological forces at play, which we are able to explore extensively with Lioness Smart Vibrator, but when it comes down to it... everyone's bodies and preferences are different, and we all have had different experiences that have shaped how we view and experience pleasure.
So based on what we know, here are 5 rules-of-thumb to keep in mind when you're looking for the best ways to masturbate and take self-pleasure to the next level.
Some days, it only takes a coy smile and a light breeze to arouse me. Other days, it takes a village of porn, erotica, lube, extra foreplay, and a hard-working partner for me to even get there.
I used to think these urges were completely random — until I started tracking my cycle and learning about my hormones.
When I talk about the “menstrual cycle,” I’m not just talking about Shark Week. The menstrual cycle actually refers to the 21-35 day cycle that makes ovulation and menstruation possible.
Using a popular cycle-tracking app called Clue and my trusty Lioness Vibrator, I found out how all the different parts of my menstrual cycle influence my orgasms.
I could list off all the benefits of exercising, but here’s one of the biggest motivators: research has shown that exercise can improve your orgasms and sexual activity.
Aerobic exercise improves oxygen and blood flow throughout the body, which can mean long-lasting erections for people with penises and higher clitoral sensitivity for people with vaginas.
Plus, working out can boost body positivity and make you feel more confident and present in your body.
An avid reader, I prefer the way that the stories are told from a first-person perspective (the literary equivalent of POV porn). I love being able to read about how all the narrator’s senses are being engaged.
As someone who was assigned female at birth and used to identify as a woman, I found it really refreshing to study pleasure from the point of view of a female narrator(more on womxn-centric porn later).
To this day, I still love reading erotic stories. Being a part of someone’s fantasy in that way is so much more erotic than watching a bunch of body parts smush together on screen.
At last, I received my longed-after Lioness Vibrator in the mail and she’s been joining me on all kinds of research adventures since. I’ve always been an avid investigator by nature, but my new friend has certainly taken things up a notch—or five!
I set out to see what we could come up with solo—just the Lioness and me—as well as how she and my partner would get along, and in which different ways we could all play together.
The first rule of Masturbation Club is how you masturbate is up to you. Your body, your choice.
And it’s true that masturbation looks very different for all of us; some of us may be pillow-humpers, some of us may enjoy penetrative sex toys, and some of us may just enjoy some spit and our own hands.
The second rule, though, is masturbation can be fun when it’s mutual!
Before you ask, yes, mutual masturbation is different than having sex with a partner—even though it is just as fun!
We talk a lot about the Lioness Vibrator and its capabilities. We’ve even mentioned how it can help you integrate your sexual health into your overall health in order to understand how the two are linked.
But getting started can feel daunting. How do you take what your Lioness shows you in the app and apply it to your sex life in real life?
Using help from certified Sex Coach Amy Baldwin, we’ve compiled an easy to follow guide for how you can take improve your own understanding of your arousal and orgasms.
While I can recognize the energizing power and benefits of a masturbation ritual, I can also see when I’ve become too dependent on it. Instead of finding time for workouts, meditation, or journaling, my masturbation habits carry all the weight of relieving my stress.
With quarantine forcing us to bring our workspace into our homes, it has been too easy to sneak off between Zoom calls to rub one out. I started to get antsy, irritable, and impatient throughout my workday. I had trouble concentrating because I was simply biding time until I could get my next fix.
Orgasms can be addictive when I don’t balance that out with other forms of self-care. I began to wonder what masturbation would look like when I’m not using it solely for stress-relief.