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A beginners guide to anal play


By Amber William

Taking it in the derriere is still a little taboo. However, it seems that anal sex may be on the rise! Anal sex is primarily growing in popularity with couples under age 45. A national survey from the National Health Statistics Reports found that, 36% of women and 44% of men reported that they’ve had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner.

It has been hypothesized that anal and vaginal orgasms are similar (same rhythmic pelvic floor movement, different body parts being stimulated), and with sexual exploration on the rise, it is easy to see why so many more people are keen to explore anal play.

However, for some, anal play/sex is still seen as a little scary. A lot of people worry about the pain, and some have previously partaken it without adequate preparation. Everyone has a different story so it can be a little hard to figure out what is what and as a beginner, this can make things particularly daunting. In that light, here’s everything you need to know about anal play!

Surprised cat

What does it feel like?

You can feel every inch of whatever you choose to penetrate yourself with. Call it sensory overload; it can get a little intense, which is why it’s best to take your time. If you feel pain, stop and remember the four tips below:

Start slow, small and relax

With anal play, there is no need to jump the gun. Start small with a finger during masturbation. Then slowly work your way up toy sizes before getting down with someone. After all, anal penetration isn’t just about penises or dildos. If you’d like some advice on butt plugs when starting out, check out our guide on the topic here.

It would be best if you also went extremely slow and be relaxed. Imagine a suitable tempo in your mind and then go half the speed of that initially. Anal sex always has to have a build-up, even for seasoned professionals. So take your time, take a deep breath, and once you’re comfortable, maybe then you can crank up the speed. Let your body tell you what feels good.

Lube is your best friend when it comes to anal sex

Lube is your best friend

Unlike the vagina, the anus isn’t self-lubricating, so ensure to only partake in anal play with a form of lubricant. Don’t be shy to continue adding along as you go. Friction is your foe, so to minimise the chances of being in pain, make sure you are drowning in lube. For a comprehensive guide of the best anal lubes, check here.

Accept that slip-ups may occur

Due to the nature of the activity, slip-ups and messes are bound to happen, but amid that heat and ecstasy, people are unlikely to care too much. There comes a time where you have to accept that there will be poop involved, even if you wash or use an enema. Sex isn’t the most sterile of activities anyway, so don’t worry about it.

The position you choose matters

Not all sex positions are created equal, so make sure you choose one that is comfortable for both of you. The most popular regarding anal sex is “doggy”. However, feel free to experiment and see what works for you.

If you are engaging in anal play without a partner, the position you choose will still matter. Some people like to lay on their side with one leg raised, whereas others prefer to be on their back. Don’t be afraid to get experimental!


Explore and enjoy!

You never know what it’ll be like until you’ve tried it. Anal play can be uncomfortable, but it should never be painful, if it is, stops what you’re doing! It’s ok to be nervous, but with both mental and physical preparation, it should be fine. It’s good to remember that vaginal intercourse can hurt too without adequate protective measures, so be safe!

Read more: Learn more about the differences between anal and vaginal orgasms.

Read more: Are “female vs. male” orgasms really that different?


Explore anal play and more with the Lioness Vibrator.

The Lioness Smart Vibrator for couples - track and improve your orgasmsDid you know that you can measure anal orgasms the same way you can measure vaginal orgasms? Now you know — and you can do it with the Lioness Vibrator.

Using built-in sensors and an intuitive mobile app, Lioness actually lets you visualize your arousal and orgasms. Simply use Lioness like any other vibrator, then review the results on your phone. Soon, you’ll begin to understand how your body responds – and how to make every climax stronger and more enjoyable.

And because Lioness is a rabbit style vibrator, you can use the outside nub as a flared end to safely explore anal play.

Click here to learn more about the Lioness.

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